Just Balance - Holistic Health and Yoga

The Just Balance yoga studio in Pleasant Avenue, East Lindfield caters for small, intimate classes.

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 What are these musings all about?

These  reflections  come when there is a need to put pen to paper or finger to keyboard as an expression of me in the moment. Sometimes the words just come - I'm no poet, I'm no writer, just expressing an idea that I like, that resonates within me.

My wish in life is to help others to help themselves, to share what I have learnt along the way and more importantly understand. To inspire someone perhaps, to let go, to surrender .......as always even if just for a moment..........for these moments do grow

23rd February 2012

Musing 1

It has been awhile since I have mused. Life has not been stationary or dull, but the urge to write has been missing.

I have gone through a time of great reflection. I have been working and teaching but socially in seclusion as  I have waded through the last year with all its intensity and challenges. I have allowed myself time to heal, to grieve, and most importantly to learn.

What I have learnt is immeasurable. What i have gained through the prolonged and at times traumatic passing of my dad was a gift.

When I look back on my life and when I listen to my clients and students stories what stands out is how much we can and often do learn when life isnt all 'peaches and cream'. The situations where you feel you are stripped bare and you feel that cant withstand much more -  what is important to you changes, what you give your energy to is reassessed, your values can be challenged, your relationships sifted through

Life changes, often dramatically because you change.

It is important during times of great stress to let go of the super woman or super man persona. The quest to look out or after others, to push our own selves to achieve ridiculous things, usually at the deterement to ourselves -our true nature, our gentle soul, our well being, our inner child. It is a gift when you not only see this but believe that you do need to look after your self. Its ok to extend yourself some care, some kindness, some love, some rest, to simply value yourself. This I have learnt.

Perhaps the other more powerful thing that I am left with is LOVE.

A stroke can be totally destructive.To go through the process of being with someone who is unable to do anything for themselves, whose only real way to communicate is through their eyes and facial features leaves a strong imprint on your heart. To know that they are going through this journey mostly alone, heart wrenching. I would visit my once magnetic, strong and larger than life father and be with a man who was child like, vulnerable and in need of great love and care. For me any passed issues dissolved, any parent child grievance, disagreement gone.

What I came in touch with was a love of such strength and beauty and depth.

What I have experienced is a forgiveness that is everlasting.

What I am left with is a great gift. a lesson in love. A lesson in forgiveness. 

Musing 1

RIP dad

My feet do not touch this earth any more

But my heart fills the space of my release

The sound of my laughter may not fill the corridors

But my presence surrounds you in its peace

The embrace of my arms no longer holds you

But my love for you is boundless

The words that I express have no sound now

But the  message will be sent to your heart

My eyes are not open to look into your eyes

But my vision sees the future paved a golden rainbow

and i hold with me the  cherished memories that we shared

Do not cry, dear child of mine

For I no longer feel the pain or the chains of my life as it was

I am free to explore this great expanse

And I am forever and always with you in your heart,

Your father loves you  

God bless, god bless, God bless

Musings 1

Untangling,

Searching,

Striving,

Reaching,

Beseeching,

Questing,

Unearthing,

Peeling,

Releasing,

Surrendering,

Centreing,

Balancing,

Being,

Being me,

Being free,

Simply being,

A wish to simply Be.

Musing 2

from a meditation.......... 

The hand of love reaches down from above, clothed in the many colors of existence.

Its touch soothes my soul, easing the pain of the past and reintroduces the trust that I lost

Trust in me

Trust in all the beings that support me

Trust in the breath and it's awakenings

Trust in love  and the elixir of wisdom it shares

A love that transcends time and space, that can support the world and all it's suffering

A lifted heart to embrace all of maknind

Blessings from the hand of sacred love sent fom god above. 

Musings 3

Words from my mat.....

Child of broken heart put down the poison arrow of anger and despair,

Forgive with a heart  that softens through the love of the mother,

The cradling of mother earth and  the grace of the holy father,

The love that knows no bounds and it's reach is to soothe  this heart of yours that has been scarred by time

To show you to be pure and gentle of thought,

To forgive, to forgive and then to forgive again.

In peace, in surrender and with the greatest love of all time.... 

Musings1

So I have been away from my musings. It's not that I was thought- less or lacking stuff to write about it was the content that bothered me. 

After time away from home and my regular yoga practice  I learnt so much. I should have been surrounded by celebrating the life of my step mum, someone who had been in my life and my dads life for 38 years, but this was not to be. I was subjected to a form of bullying and fear  and it's manifestation  of greediness and this not only dumbfounded me but unbalanced me to an extent that today, I feel like I can restore an equilibrium, a calm, a strength, a belief in the potential of life, of myself and of others.

I ponder way does death bring out so much ugliness. I know this  does not always happen as I have been around it many times but when it does wow does that change things. And all these possessions that a person has spent their lifetime buying, accumulating, parading in their homes, they become so inconsequential to them when they are gone and a source of potential  unrest that can change relationships greatly.

I hope that this time opens another door for me in the understanding of life, mine and mankind in general. But for now it is time to sit, to heal, to transform the past into a supportive loving energy........... 

Musings 2 

I feel myself emerging from a coccoon, with a hope for a life touched by grace and honesty. I realise now that I put in place my armour,  hardened, preparing for battle and yet at the same time  retreating so that  I feel protected from the negativity that greeted me, as I lost  my connection to the most basic need, to trust. 

Musing 3

I feel the arms of love surround me.

"Allow me to hold you, gently hold you

Alow me to take your burden away, to be the wearer of the cloak filled with heaviness and loss that you carry ".

With hands of incredible sensitivity i am cradled in the love that surounds me.

 I sense my uplifting, my remergence to that deep inner knowing, that deep inner  strength that I seemed to have lost  my way to.

I feel that I breathe again.

The inhale moving deep into forgotten recesses, filling my whole being with a fresh hope.

The exhale filled with that heart felt urge and need and want to let go,

to simply let go and be free of whatever is required, whatever needs to be removed from my life,

And so it will be........

Musing 4

Time to sart a blog 

Musings 1

what do I do when life seems to pull the rug from beneath me?

I breathe.

I sink into my body in hope, allowing the tense, tightly held muscles to release their grip

And then I breathe again, softening, gently weaving myself to that chamber within that holds the key.

I breathe.

The door opens into the best held secret I have. All is right. All is as it should be.

I surrender, from another place I feel the arms from another place hold me in an exquisite tenderness.

There presence very presence reminding me of all the love that there is for me in this time of need.

I breathe.

 I let go.

And then I breathe again. 

musing 1

 As I sit, hands of light hold me, its gentle touch felt as a soothing blanket given to keep out the cold.

I feel the support of my guides, my angelic family who stay steadfast by my side

 I open to their presence, to the love that radiates from around me and colours my perceptions

the morning chill, the breaking of this new day and the tasks at hand seem to be held by a force that is unseen and carries the burden that tries to settle within the heart

the prayer in remembrance of a life lost, a wish to be true to the memory and for the soul to be at peace.

Musing 2 

I sit. There is quietness about me

I breathe. There is the silence within me

I open. There is a ray of gentleness embracing me 

I still. There in front of me lie the choices 

I pray.  There is support given

I honour.  There is a time for reflection

i love. There is  an eternal source of love

I remember. Yes I remember. 

Musing 1

Life seems to have a habit of challenging us.

No sooner have we weathered a storm when the unexpected earthquake shatters the quiet, the peace

It tests our courage, our faith, our fears.

I find that during theses tests I rearrange what is important,

re-assess what I give our attention to,

re-affirm what has meaning and purpose to me

I try to be still amongst the turbulence.

I turn to my mat to release its effect on my body.

I find myself diving into the breath allowing the clear quiet waters to cleanse me, to allow me to be with what is happening , what I cant deny, what is very real.

And then I begin to grow a bit more,nurturing a new layer of understanding, a new way to be with myself in life and its highs and its lows.

I find that these times makes me stronger, wiser and gentler. 

It strengthens too the bonds of friendship and love as we turn to those close to us for that shoulder to lean on, and share in the vulnerability of being human and the experience of loss. 

RIP Pippa 

Musings 1

When I can lay done my armour of protection life is experienced with a gentle unfolding

The fear is transformed

And I can embrace my existence in balance

I can approach all that I do in a much clearer, simpler way 

When I can remove a layer of misunderstanding  that I have worn around me like a favorite blanket  that I have carried since I was a child,

Then do I feel the subtle anchoring of an inner strength, a growing belief in who I am

And I find it is in the simple remembering to breathe that this remarkable journey of releasing the old and living a life that is guided by a mind that is not governed by fear

The ingesting and releasing of prana,  of this spacious moment that is caressed in stillness, allowing these sacred times to grow begins a life of wonder

I begin to change, my chemistry changes and the potential to be free begins to be be the new coat of ever

 changing color that I wear.

I breathe,

 To be new,

To be free

To be. 

Musing 1

I feel the timid awakening within,  a child that has hidden, feeling vulnerable and untrustng of the world around it

It senses a newness, a time when it can begin to emerge from its slumber, as hands of gentless reach towards it, supporting its stepping forth and planty its feet on the earth

With eyes of wonder and deep clarity seeing more, realising more

an inner strength and harmony are its manger

I smile in the awe of its transforming, greeting this long lost friend in reverence and a wish to be there for its emergence into my life, touching my life with an understanding long forgotten to allow me to become all that I am

Musing 1

The colors of my rainbow gently unfolding,

moving to the expanse within that is linked far beyond the understanding of my everyday mind .

As I breathe into the different energy centers, explosions of a living murmuring   touch me.

I can feel its healing balm,

the sense of being cradled in a wordless existence that has an intelligence that guides me,

hand holding as I let fly in trust, in a yearning to let go, to remember, to be free. 

Musing 1

Allowing the breathe to go deeper

I surrender

Moving the breathe into my heart

I open

Giving the breathe into the nothingness

I expand

The journey bathes me in the colours of the ages, the memory of a long time ago,

and an intelligence moving into a place that lies in wait for me

the time of new beginnings stands before me,  

A release into the mystery of my life and from the layers of protection I have cocooned myself in,

the reaching into the unknown to hear the calling from my soul

Breathe and go deeper

surrender, open, expand 

Musing 1

Eyes of clarity

Seeing the shapes and contours laid before me

The intensity within the colors o f this moment before me

The serenity  that it resonates within 

Ears of yearning

The calling, hearing the many voices of the day as it awakens

The depth within the silence of the chamber in me

The remembering of what is meant to be. 

Musing 1

This came from a long meditation practice that has left me immensely greatful for life and its potential.

softly, softly I hear the  unfolding of a new beginning

as i tune in to the melody I find within

a breathe

its gentle journey guiding my senses deeper & deeper,

further & further

the expansion beyond anything I have felt before, a moving into grace,

a questing into a nothingness that has the wisdom of the ages 

a graceful existence infused by a sense of nowness, no hurry, no desire to move

linger and linger.

Sensing.

Questing outwards, searching inwards

to a place that resonants within me, a place that I could stay in for ever.

Forever cradled in the arms of this holding,

Hands searching, reaching upwards into the space beyond

bathed in the golden light falling, the mystery of this moment growing

leaving its imprint in my heart.

a breathe.

I breathe, I breathe and I am set  free. 

In the acknowledgement of  what I was shown, my wish is to have this moment light my way, flavour the next step taken, guide me forever forward down this path of awakening 

Musing 1

Musings 1

 I breathe in the light of the holy father

I breathe in the grace of th e holy mother

I breathe in the moment and all it's colors, it's sounds,

Its wish eternal

Centreing,

Grounding,

Expanding

Lifting

Grounding

Preparing  to be of this earth and reaching into the heavens above 

Musing 1

As the day unfolds I ask

" may I see with new eyes,

Hear with new ears,

Speak with a new voice,

With words that come from stillness,

Allowing for all that is new".

Musing 2

Iif there could be just one thing  to tell, it would be remember

Remember to breathe

Remember to still

Remember to let go

Remember to open your heart

Remember to explore the inner spaces

Remember to be open to your true potential

Remember, remember and remember

And from this place of remembering,

begin again. 

Musing 3

I listen out for the words that come in the moment,

In the times when a gentle silence envelopes me,

 In the unfolding of this moment and what it offers,

In the exposure of where I live my life from

In the dissolving of my amour that was put in place when I was young

In the releasing of all the things that hold me back

From hearing the words that come from a source touched by the colors of the  universe,

A song sung by the purest voice - that will support me in this surrender. 

That will guide me to the deepest source of peace, that cradles the moment in grace.

Musing 1

May I be in harmony with the day

May I honor every moment

May I be free of the past and it's tuggings

May I surrender into the divine within

Musing 2

Trust

Trust in the process of unfolding

Trust in the journey to your soul

Trust in being in the right moment at the right time

And trust in the support that is there if you open to it. 

Musing 3

I breathe in love

I feel the color of my day

I tap into the source that is available to all

Honouring the love that is there.

Musings 1

as I sit in quite reflection, I feel myself searching for something that is familiar yet very unknown.

There is a calling, a yearning, a striving towards something that seems out of ny reach, yet so close,

A memory, a deep inner connection to a path that I move along in trust.

Trusting in the potential,

trusting in this unearthing,

Dtrusting in the revealing that comes through a wisdom that can be found within the still recesses of my mind, my heart  and connecting to soul.